Parenting style is a vital, determining, and influential factor in the upbringing of a child. It directly affects a child’s psyche and growth. Your parenting style plays a significant role in how your children behave, perceive things, and cope with different life issues. Sometimes, it’s so influential that what your children think about themselves, might be due to how you brought them up.
Although, you might think there’s significant variation in how one raises their kids because, of course, everyone is not the same. However, having a close look makes us realise there’s a lot more in common than we might think. It was the same reason researchers were able to group parents into four distinct parenting styles. Please read this article thoroughly to know each parenting style with its pros and cons.
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Parenting Styles: An Overview of the History
Most of the work on parenting styles in psychology today is due to Diana Blumberg Baumrind. She was a clinical and developmental psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley in the 1960s. Moreover, she was of the idea that different parenting styles lead to various child growths and outcomes.
Based on extensive research and analysis, she was the one who initially gave three styles of parenting. Later on, Maccoby and Martin, in the 1980s, refined these 3-parenting-styles into four different types.
Types:
The following four parenting styles have distinct names and characteristics. Each parenting style varies in areas like disciplinary style, communication, nurturance, and expectations.
- Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
- Permissive or Indulgent
- Uninvolved
- Authoritative
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Authoritarian or Disciplinarian:
Authoritarian parents are disciplinarians with little or no negotiation possible. One way communication from parent to child and punishments is an everyday practice with such parents. Rules usually are not explained, and you can’t challenge or question their authority. Parents with this style are less nurturing with high expectations and limited flexibility. In other words, such parents don’t believe in taking a child’s opinion. They set the rules, enforce them and punish those who don’t follow them.
Consequently, children with authoritarian parents usually develop self-esteem problems as their opinions aren’t valued. Disciplinarian parenting develops aggressive behaviour in children. Also, such kids become good liars to avoid punishment. Despite focusing on how to do and handle things, the children of authoritarian parents often focus on the anger they have against their parents.
Permissive or Indulgent:
Permissive parents play the role of a friend rather than a parent. They let their children do whatever they want and offer limited guidance or direction. Such parents don’t believe in a strict disciplinary style. Additionally, permissive parents let children figure out problems on their own and have limited or no rules. Communication is open, but these parents let children decide for themselves and make their own path.
Parents in this category are warm and nurturing but these parents don’t discourage their children’s poor choices and bad behaviour. As a result, kids with indulgent parents struggle academically, have low self-esteem, and are sadistic. In addition, these kids may also exhibit behavioural problems and are at higher risk for health problems. It is because the parents don’t focus on what their kids are eating or drinking.
Uninvolved:
The third type consists of uninvolved or simply neglected parents. They lack in giving guidance, nurturing, and parental attention to their kids. Their neglecting attitude may sometimes be not intentional as they face some serious problems regarding mental health issues, work, or household stuff.
As a result, children with parents of this type stay primarily unhappy. Such children don’t perform well in school and have self-esteem and behavioural issues.
Authoritative:
This style is said to be the most fruitful and beneficial for children. On one hand, authoritative parents set disciplinary rules with well-explained reasons. They are nurturing with high expectations stated clearly. On the other hand, communication is two-way as they believe in taking a child’s opinion too. These parents invest their time and energy into bringing up their children.
Therefore, they enforce positive parenting approaches of praise and reward systems. Kids of these parents tend to be expressive and responsible adults. They lead a happy life and are successful with good decision-making abilities.
Things Parents Should Always Avoid:
- Hit or yell at their children.
- Criticise their kids in front of others.
- Compare their kids with some XYZ kids.
- Excessively pressurise them to do well in exams or sports.
- Control their lives in terms of career choice, life partner etc.
- Make decisions on behalf of their kids.
- Stop spoonfeeding.
- Excessive and unnecessary praising.
- Ignore their kids.
- Be a poor listener.
- Call them names like spoiled brat, annoying kid etc.
- Not spending quality time.
- Only notice what they did wrong.
Conclusion:
The studies show that the authoritarian parenting style is the best, but don’t worry if you are more like the remaining three styles or if you don’t fall into one particular category and instead are sometimes permissive and other times authoritative. As a fact, there are ways you can improve your parenting style and become a more authoritative parent.
Parenting is a complicated task. Now I get it that sometimes, children’s temperament can eventually affect a parent’s behaviour towards them. But always remember: children are like a garden. Simply, The more love, attention, and care you give, the more it flourishes. Each parent thinks best of their child and knows what their kid demands. However, in the end, let me say that with firm commitment, dedication and patience, you can raise your kid to be a responsible, happy and wonderful soul and that too in a happy, healthy, and positive manner.
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